These are Jessica’s flowers. We left them on the small brick wall that was right next to our table at our wedding reception. When we walked back down to lay them down, all the balloons were gone, the tables and chairs weren’t present, the people were gone, and all that was left was us.
You know, this post has been in “draft” form for some time now. I originally intended for it to be my “WE’RE DEBT FREE!” post, but I’m glad that I didn’t post it back then. I’m glad that I waited, because I’ve finally discovered what freedom really is.
My biological father sent me an email yesterday. He sends one every few months, to “check up” on me. I’ve written a post or two about my biological father, so I don’t need to go into detail here about that. I will, however, continue to get this weight off of my chest, and that starts here.
I have never confronted my biological father. I decided it was finally time to do so. I told him that I know he’s a child-molester, a child-porn addict, and an abuser. He mentally abused my mother for 26 years of marriage. That’s right. He is a repulsive individual, and you know what? I’m okay with the world knowing that.
When an abuser/manipulator is revealed, his power is gone. I told my biological father that he is not my father, and I am not his son. The good news is, I don’t get along with him anyway. He’s always been a poor father. Poor is actually an understatement, and that gives him too much credit.
Here is his response to my informing him that I know of all the illegal/illicit/sick things he’s done:
I will continue to pray for you, Casey, and for healing in your life. I’m very sorry for the feeling you have and any pain I may have caused you, but I’ll never give up on you. You are my son and always will be.
Dad
Yup. That’s his response to my 8-paragraph, 557-word confrontational message to him. He’ll pray for me. He’ll never give up on me. Really? Don’t worry, I called him on this, and he did not respond again, because he knows he’s guilty.
Here is my PSA to men everywhere: Man the fuck up.
The more people that know about Don’s sick, manipulative tendencies, the better. Every person who knows takes away from his power. And that is a magical thing. This is freedom.
I am now free from this burden that I’ve held for my family for so long. It’s not mine to carry any more. He’s going to have to fight his own battles now, rather than having his family fight them for him. That gives me a satisfaction that can only be conveyed with a smile.
I am sick of reading about/hearing about men being little boys. Here’s the deal though – I couldn’t care less about what others choose to do. I can only control the things I do and say. I do not take that responsibility lightly. I don’t take my marriage lightly. I don’t take my friendships lightly. I don’t take communication lightly.
I am a strong fucking man, and I’m not afraid to say it.
I am free because I choose to be. I am free because I love my wife, and I make sure she knows that every single day. I am free because I will not fight someone else’s battles. I am free because I communicate openly. I am free because I don’t keep secrets from those I love. I am free because I don’t abuse others.
Don (my biological father) is a sick human being, and I turned out okay. Better than okay – with no thanks to him. If you’re in a similar situation, pat yourself on the back, and start making your own future. Nobody can change your life except you.