An intimate relationship can be the pinnacle of happiness or a whole lot of stress. However, 99% of the time, you can control which category your relationship falls in. Happiness isn’t free, but with a little work, it’s completely attainable. Use these two free tools for only one week, and you will see major improvements in your connection with your significant other.
Free Tool #1: Listen
This is quite possibly the easiest method you could possibly use, and the return is huge. You might say to me, “I listen all the time, Casey. What the hell are you talking about?” I’m talking about really listening. If your relationship isn’t absolutely perfect, you’ve still got some more listening to do.
When you go out on the town with your significant other (sig O), clues are spattered all over the place. They can be as simple as a color. If your sig O mentions how nice a shade of paint is on a car you pass, you have your clue. That’s right – it’s as simple as that. Your next course of action is showing your sig O that you listen – even for the small things.
Now your options are endless. You could go get a bouquet of flowers that closely resemble the color of the car you saw. You could get a bath towel of matching color. You could draw/digitally create some artwork that showcases the color. Whatever you choose to do, when you gift this item to your sig O, you need to mention the occurrence that led to your action. It’s important for the connection to be made that you were actively listening. Knowing that you’re listening is more important to your sig O than any gift you could give.
What if you don’t see any nicely colored cars? Maybe your sig O mentions a restaurant, a movie that’s not coming out for at least 3 months, or place to visit. You can impress your sig O even more, by acting on something you listened to and remembered for a long time. That’s an area in which I shine. Chesapeake will mention a movie she wants to see, but it hasn’t been released yet. When said movie is available for rent (months later), I set up a surprise movie date, and she is always smiling and satisfied. It’s a small task, but it makes a huge difference – and it shows I’m listening.
Free Tool #2: Be Confident
One of the main things people struggle with in relationships is a lack of confidence. If you think about it, this extends even beyond relationships. If you go into a situation feeling less than confident, there’s a good chance you won’t get what you want. However, when you approach something with complete confidence, it’s different, isn’t it? When you’re confident, failure doesn’t bring you down. It makes you fight harder.
When you interact with your sig O, whether it’s a date, a car ride, or simply enjoying each other’s company, be confident. When you try to guard yourself from rejection or embarrassment, you pull yourself further away. If you want to sing a song about the way you love him/her, do it! You’ll both end up laughing and smiling, and it will be something fun to remember. Also, it can be the new baseline for creative ways to express yourself.
Don’t worry about repetition. If you love your sig O, say it out loud. Don’t ever fear that you’ve said it too many times. Say it confidently and directly. Every time you say, “I love you” – mean it. Actively think about it, and mean it.
The bottom line here is confidence. Know your end result before you even begin. When you see yourself winning ahead of time, the actual results don’t matter as much. It becomes more about the active effort you’re putting in than what you’re getting in return. Believe in yourself. You deserve it.