Changes

I was just reading through my old Hotmail emails.  Yup – I still have a Hotmail address.  I’ve tried many times to close it, but I keep getting the run-around from Microsoft.  Do they really think I’m going to keep it as my primary email address?  Well, I guess they’re making ad money off of me anyway, since I occasionally go back to see if anything interesting pops up in there.

I did find something interesting in my Hotmail account, but it wasn’t an email from a long-lost friend.  It was old emails.  According to Hotmail, I registered my email address in May of 2001.  Over ten years ago.  That’s a long time, no?  In technology terms, that’s a REALLY long time.  I found an old email I sent to someone that actually said,

I’m excited about the new hand-held computers, like Palm.

And now we have the iPhone 5, just on the horizon.  It was a lifetime ago.  There are some things I miss, and there are some things I don’t miss.  I only keep in touch with (and still like) two of my friends from my Hotmail days.  It’s crazy to me that out of all the people I used to communicate with, only two of them still mean something to me.

People might not change, but you do.

I remember taking a day trip to visit one of my old teachers.  He was a friend from back in my high school days, and I went to visit him when I was almost finished with college.  After we sat down to start catching up, something changed.  Well, actually, nothing changed.  Except for my perception.

Only ten minutes into the conversation, I found that the magic that usually goes along with being young was nowhere to be found.  I was listening to my old friend, and I was disagreeing with what he was saying – all at the same time I was feeling that any response would be futile.  It wasn’t that he changed; it was that I found out what I believe in, and that didn’t mesh with him.

The same thing happened to almost all of my age-related friends from high school.  I only still keep in touch with about three out of twenty or so.  It’s not a bad thing, but it is worth noticing.  Most of my friendships ended over something very simple.  It was as simple as my saying,

I’m not going to put up with that anymore.

My standards have gone up, and it’s a bit harder for me to connect with people whom I know don’t give out the same amount of respect I do.

All’s not lost

This isn’t to say that all relationships are doomed, it’s simply my being nostalgic of naive times.  I don’t want to go back to my youth – I want to live here and now.  I’m not upset that my friendships are over, even if I might miss some of them.  I simply accept that I have changed, and that changes things.

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